web player > www.CelebrityGossipPodcast.com

Wicker is going to HELL > I am not bcs I am just a hitch hiker > Angelina with some new old hat *SIGH* > Corpse Bride from girls aloud dressed up like TwoFace from Batman > Posh is having her feet cut off > Brad's fat brother > Cheryl Cole is scared of Psychics > 3 seats on the plane but that means 3 dinners NOM NOM and thrice NOM > some attention hungry people on the problem pages > a DYNAMITE SEX TIP > AND > SOME PEOPLE sent me messages on twitter WOW @chimpdonk.

Playing out with 'Stage Shoes' by Fever Fever. If you are quick you can catch them playing in Brixton tonight TheRestIsNoise 442 Brixton Road London SW9 8EJ > http://music.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=music.showDetails&friendid...

We cant go though because THAT is south of the river ~ and we are going to BRAIN DRAIN at the Old Blue Last > Blue On Blue (live) / Dignan Porch (live) - FREE ENTRY!!

TEA Mr.Shifter? light refreshment?

Contact the show? - barely anyone does so if you do you are bound to be on it > tag tweets with #celebz / message @wickerwoo @chimpdonk or drop us a comment on MySpace OR email us > wicker@sinktherock.org or crispin@sinktherock.org

The Crescent - www.CelebrityGossipPodcast.com

web player > www.CelebrityGossipPodcast.com

OH hO > Mairead tried to make us go to the pub so we made her come round and be on the podcast instead > IN the NEWS > IT IS GOOD that Lily Allen isn't thin > IT IS BAD that Hannah Waterman is thin > Kerry's diet EXAMINED > WHY does everyone hate Jordan? > Kate Moss EXPOSED as a sex predator > THE DANGERS OF SHOES > Sex in the city look-a-likes > MC Hammer's RevEALations > who teh fuck is snookie politzi? > some great penis related problems and  my phone tries to spoil it for everyone because it is such a demanding bitch...

Playing out with HEALTH - Die Slow > Fucking brilliant tune - 'mazin band live GO SEE.

FIVE METER SPREAD- NO TALKING

Contact the show? - barely anyone does so if you do you are bound to be on it > tag tweets with #celebz / message @wickerwoo @chimpdonk or drop us a comment on MySpace OR email us > wicker@sinktherock.org or crispin@sinktherock.org

The Crescent - www.CelebrityGossipPodcast.com

www.CelebrityGossipPodcast.com

WHAT? > Jordan on the prowl *sigh* > Baldwin brothers AND sisters REVEALED > find out WHO is even more hated than Jordan? > Jessica Simpson and her MASSIVE MASSIVE TITS > Dannii = PREGGERS > the pals - always the pals > Mischa Barton fattin up again > some bird with westlife tattoos > pregnent menand the company they keep > Carol McGiffen's superbestfriends  > Samanda in BROWN HAIR SHOCKER > 3 way sexy problems solved > AND > FINALLY some people have contacted the show....

Playing out with ICE, SEA, DEAD PEOPLE - 'My Twin Brother's a Brother' - Album out in the Summer - playing 93 feet east on Friday see you there?

Run, don't walk from TEH GOSSIPS...

Contact the show? - barely anyone does so if you do you are bound to be on it > tag tweets with #celebz / message @wickerwoo @chimpdonk or email us > wicker@sinktherock.org or crispin@sinktherock.org

The Crescent - www.CelebrityGossipPodcast.com

Play > The Crescent - Episode 42 (mp3)

Download > The Crescent - Episode 42 (m4a)

It's all fucking GO this week > celeb beach body HANG UPS  > baby spice HATES Cheryl's guts > untold shit about CBEEBIES (celebrity big brother) > We BOTH all lezzy for Stephanie Beachums > Who would your celebrity butler be? > a lady with a FIVE FOOT BUM > 'I've got an arm for a tongue' > some PROPER 'MAZIN top tips  > AND > a woman who breast feeds her dog (thanks Payto ~ @moodysson)...

PLaying out with 'Road Kill' by Sunderbans - download the track for free on their myspace.

...there is no Dana only ZUUL

Contact the show? - no one does so if you do you are bound to be on it > tag tweets with #celebz or email us > wicker@sinktherock.org or crispin@sinktherock.org

Weekly celebrity gossip podcast - The Crescent

I am posting this chat with my sister for posterity mostly but you are welcome to read it if you like.

To put it in context later this year we are going away for a holiday at some yurts in wales where they farm alpacas (Adam is organising it) > AND > wtf is a labradoodle? > AND > me and erica used to work in a cafe on Church Street called 'The Cooler' - it was very Stoke Newington - soya milk lattes in the 90s, gluten free stuff (a good 5 years before all the people in North London suddenly realised they were DEFINITELY allergic to bread), responsibly reared meat before Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall had even killed his first pig and organic cucumbers for two fifty before Wet and Wild opened up down the road and just did all that shit better....

erica: i had mental dreram after adam sent the yurts email
i dreamt i had impulsively bought an alpacca
it was really naughty and annoying and i was really embaressed that i had purchased something so irresponssible and stuuupid
so embarrassed that i kept telly everone it was a labradoodle

crispin: did they beliieve you?

erica: yeah think so

crispin: your dream freinds are WELL stupid

erica: you should know
YOU WERE ONE OF THEM

crispin: FUCK
i cant be held responsible for your subconscious deflating of my brilliant mind
I know the difference:

a labradoodle is labradoodally recognised while an alpaca is alpakkaly different

erica: LOL
it was a very small alpacca
and mostly fur
so you shouldn't be too ashamed and so defensive

crispin: whatevs
can dogs spit?

erica: yes
but only down
slowly

crispin: bob carolgees dog doesn't count
PUPPET NOT REAL

erica: i had to google image that

crispin: oh really?
don't you remember when we worked in the cooler
where was the poster for someones amazin meditaion class or something
we changed his name to bob carolgees

erica: did we? - we were horrid
much worse than fresh and wild staff

crispin: because well he looked EXACTLY like bob carolgees
EXACTLY
(had a similar mustache)

erica: lol - well imagine the reiki hawking lactose intolerant prick deserved to be ridiculed

crispin: YEH the cunt

erica: we were deffo nice to some customers
even esp nice to some...just to make the ones we were mean to realise that we hated them

crispin: our mates

erica: ...i was nice to erm...mr machiatto
and...cappucino croisant lesbian
and ....
that might have been it

crispin: i think it was

erica: I hated... chevre bouche salad man, croissant with lots of butter estate agent bitch, the most and hated serving the clepto mum erghghghghgh and the 'do you want to see my jewells' lady

crispin: we were kind of nice to 2 cappuccinos, almond croissant and a cinnamon swirl couple

erica: ohhh yeah - and their live at home son

crispin: omg jewels lady
"do i look nice today?"

erica: no
you look mental go away

crispin: lol
once amanda tried to throw her off by telling her she looked nice before she could ask
she said

i smell a bit though I haven't had a wash for days

erica: that time she made vanessa hold her rings and then said ' i just been for a smeer test' lolololol vanessa almost did a sick

crispin: oh YEAH LOL

erica: hahahaahaaa
we are mean - she was actually mental
not a cock like the rest of em

crispin: we wernt mean

erica: true - well not to their faces

crispin: jewels lady wouldn't have known if we were
she was too busy fretting about her care worker and landlord who were "shooting me all full of heroin and having sex with me"
heroin/ insulin

erica: with the amount of cake she ate she deffo had diabetes
though the pills she got out on the bus and was showing the lady in front of me were 'to stop her friend comming back'
'because they made her do bad things'

crispin: Hoot <3s mental poeoples

Play > The Crescent - Episode 41 (mp3)

Download > The Crescent - Episode 41 (m4a)

We are a bit less pissed this time and do actually talk about celebrity gossip IN PARTICULAR > stressed Lily Allen is burnet out and hates her body > SOMEONE cut off their toe to like Cheryl Cole > Devina fitness shit > Celebrity Big Brother (which, of course, we haven't seen) > some AMAZING bikini bodies - or something > which ONE LEGGED celebrity is hoping to be on dancing about on ICE? > (some arguments in the middle about rizlas) > a quick review of who DIED in 2009 > and some half arsed psychic predictions for 2010 >  accidental tangent into people and dogs with prolapsed bums > some SEX problems from Tracey and Julie > AND > the recipe for alphabet soup.

Playing out with Gold Panda - 'Back Home'

Contact the show? - no one does so if you do you are bound to be on it > tag tweets with #celebz or email us > wicker@sinktherock.org or crispin@sinktherock.org

The light that burns twice as bright only burns for half as long - and you have burned so very brightly Jade x

Weekly celebrity gossip podcast - The Crescent

Play > The Crescent - Episode 40 (mp3)

Download > The Crescent - Episode 40 (m4a)

Merry Crispmas my gossip loving lovelies x > here is what happened - we goto back from teh pub and then tried to do our podcast drunk as hell - I think we pulled it off but I can't really remember what we talked about - we forgot about Brittany Murphy but we remembered Pete Docherty - I think we shouted alot and wished you all a merry Crispmas especially to our new SHOWBIZ buddies AC the stylist and Carlos.

PLaying out with the skills of Halston - I'm down with Christmas 

Contact the show? - no one does so if you do you are bound to be on it > tag tweets with #celebz or email us > wicker@sinktherock.org or crispin@sinktherock.org

twas the night before Crispmas and all through the house

Wicker and Crispin were shouting their pissed up heads off

Weekly celebrity gossip podcast - The Crescent

Mark: wotcha

Crispin: hello duck

Mark:yo yo yo
wotcha up to?
anything new media tastic?

Crispin: oh you know
actually i am on the smeg dishwasher forum lol
trying to fix our dishwasher

Mark: hahahahahahah
i love you for admitting taht

Crispin: welcom to my amazing life

Mark: so amazing

Crispin: this is my fave bit of advixce so far:
open the door, switch it off, switch it on and immediately press the program button 4 times within 3 seconds.
wtf

Mark: does that give you unlimited ammo?

Crispin: properlol

Mark: or warp to the final level?

Crispin: ha

Mark: do you own it?

Crispin: nope

Mark: take a screwdriver to it and then call the landlord
he can get a cheap one in the sales

Crispin: yeh i tried that
she sent round 'tommy the sparky'
he said to be honest mate all i can do is confirm that it's recieving power
and it is
because this red light is flashin
cheers tommy
he is getting us a new hob in time for crispmas tho

Mark: bless
i do like your flat

Crispin: atm we have 2 settings
slighty warmer than the landlord's cold black heart
and
hotter and hotter and hotter

Mark: hah
do you want to see a really gay photo of me?

Crispin: one for grinder?

Mark: hah, no
from the office party

Crispin: yeh hit me

Mark: ok, but you can't send this on or ever use it against me
<<<LINK REMOVED>>>

Crispin: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Mark: super agy
gay
and showing off my gut

Crispin: you are so hot right now

Mark: hahaha
working that look

Crispin: i just tried the mystic smeg dishwasher lore
didn't work

Mark: quick, add that one to wikipedia
like th elie that otis lifts have a secret button combo to express your way past other floors without stopping

Crispin: lol yeh thanks for the tip dave

Mark: Lies, all lies!

Play > The Crescent - Episode 39 (mp3)

Download > The Crescent - Episode 39 (m4a)

We worrying about whether there will EVEN be gossip magazines next week > go on about the showcase we went to > and find out what celebrities are doing for Christmas and what they will be eating > in particular posh spice who apparently is havin a panic attack about it > Also in the news is > 5 sex dolls getting a christmas makeover > Cheryl and Dannii frock FACE OFF > Victoria Beckham and Kate Moss BATTLE IT OUT on a red carpet > celebrity heavy petting > WHO turned on WHO'S lights? > WE got no top tips but we did get some proper Proper funny problems in 'Ask Tracey' > FLUID COMES OUT (zomg) > and > THRUSTING technique > also we talkin about 3 legged dogs yep.

Playing out with Daddy by Winners

Contact the show? - no one does so if you do you are bound to be on it > tag tweets with #celebz or email us > wicker@sinktherock.org or crispin@sinktherock.org

oh yeh AND now we are on myspace http://www.myspace.com/celebritygossippodcast - iknowright > R-E-T-R-O

big daddy crispmis aint got nuffin on my selection

Weekly celebrity gossip podcast - The Crescent

Play > The Crescent - Episode 38 (mp3)

Download > The Crescent - Episode 38 (mp3)

What did we learn today? We leaned that MEESHA Barton is not fucked off her head at the minute so was sober enough for an entire OK photoshoot > Cheryl's Christmas quicky w Ashley > On the fist day of Christmas my true love said to me - "Get out - you're a swinger" > POSH's BUNIONS puke > Danny Dyer chatin on the ol' dog 'n' bone in So Ho innit > Wicker seen Trigger out of/ off of Only Fools and Horses IRL looking at ART > Jesus is a DJ > Brittany Murphy's got a new funny face > Sugababes rejuvinated slag off the one what left for like 4 pages > AC SLATER from Saved by the Bell opens a toilet in NYC > SEX TIP - sexy secret santa - what the flucking fiuck? how is that ever going to work? > office Christmas do advice BULLSHIT > Kerry not on any drugs or drinking - now she goes to bed at 8pm (or something). - oooh > the bog roll on the shelf behind us is a nice look innit?

Playing out with '4 minute warning' by Portasound

Contact the show? - no one does so if you do you are bound to be on it > tag tweets with #celebz or email us > wicker@sinktherock.org or crispin@sinktherock.org

no no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there's no limit.

Weekly celebrity gossip podcast - The Crescent

PS Red Rose comedy club this week is > ANDREW O'NEIL, TONY LAW, PRINCE ABDI, ANDREW WALLACE MC: Mike O'Donovan event details here