As with every monday, I wakes up with the agony of a mis-spent weekend about me - my kidneys are trying to punch their way out of my back, my liver wants a divorce and my mouth tastes like I have been getting off with a shit.
Hence > My Directives for my new healthy lifestyle:
- I will not eat crisps for my tea
...in fact I will only eat crisps occasionally, instead of them being my staple foodstuff
- I will do more exercise than just riding about on my bike showing off and doing skids
- I go to bed ABSOLUTELY STONE COLD sober at least three nights a week
- I will eat loads of fish - at least 2 dinners per week (fish-stix with ketchup and mayo squeezy stripes do not count as dinner ...or fish for that matter)
- I will barely ever eat chips
- I will only eat Dixy Chicken in an absolute emergency
- I will eat less bread, when I do eat bread it will be the brown, heavy, expensive kind with bits in that requires chewing.
- OH YEAH > CHEWING ~ I will chew things instead of eating like a stray dog.
- I will eat loads of vegetables (crisps do not count as vegetables).
- I will be eating at least 3 bits of fruit EVERY day.
- Drinking water will cease to become a chore or an emergency.
- I will be mostly drinking whiskey in favour of beer.
AND > this is not 'one step at a time, Martin' this is full on change for life GO GO GO*
*weekends and special occasions permitting.
