I am posting this chat with my sister for posterity mostly but you are welcome to read it if you like.
To put it in context later this year we are going away for a holiday at some yurts in wales where they farm alpacas (Adam is organising it) > AND > wtf is a labradoodle? > AND > me and erica used to work in a cafe on Church Street called 'The Cooler' - it was very Stoke Newington - soya milk lattes in the 90s, gluten free stuff (a good 5 years before all the people in North London suddenly realised they were DEFINITELY allergic to bread), responsibly reared meat before Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall had even killed his first pig and organic cucumbers for two fifty before Wet and Wild opened up down the road and just did all that shit better....
erica: i had mental dreram after adam sent the yurts email
i dreamt i had impulsively bought an alpacca
it was really naughty and annoying and i was really embaressed that i had purchased something so irresponssible and stuuupid
so embarrassed that i kept telly everone it was a labradoodle
crispin: did they beliieve you?
erica: yeah think so
crispin: your dream freinds are WELL stupid
erica: you should know
YOU WERE ONE OF THEM
crispin: FUCK
i cant be held responsible for your subconscious deflating of my brilliant mind
I know the difference:
a labradoodle is labradoodally recognised while an alpaca is alpakkaly different
erica: LOL
it was a very small alpacca
and mostly fur
so you shouldn't be too ashamed and so defensive
crispin: whatevs
can dogs spit?
erica: yes
but only down
slowly
crispin: bob carolgees dog doesn't count
PUPPET NOT REAL
erica: i had to google image that
crispin: oh really?
don't you remember when we worked in the cooler
where was the poster for someones amazin meditaion class or something
we changed his name to bob carolgees
erica: did we? - we were horrid
much worse than fresh and wild staff
crispin: because well he looked EXACTLY like bob carolgees
EXACTLY
(had a similar mustache)
erica: lol - well imagine the reiki hawking lactose intolerant prick deserved to be ridiculed
crispin: YEH the cunt
erica: we were deffo nice to some customers
even esp nice to some...just to make the ones we were mean to realise that we hated them
crispin: our mates
erica: ...i was nice to erm...mr machiatto
and...cappucino croisant lesbian
and ....
that might have been it
crispin: i think it was
erica: I hated... chevre bouche salad man, croissant with lots of butter estate agent bitch, the most and hated serving the clepto mum erghghghghgh and the 'do you want to see my jewells' lady
crispin: we were kind of nice to 2 cappuccinos, almond croissant and a cinnamon swirl couple
erica: ohhh yeah - and their live at home son
crispin: omg jewels lady
"do i look nice today?"
erica: no
you look mental go away
crispin: lol
once amanda tried to throw her off by telling her she looked nice before she could ask
she said
i smell a bit though I haven't had a wash for days
erica: that time she made vanessa hold her rings and then said ' i just been for a smeer test' lolololol vanessa almost did a sick
crispin: oh YEAH LOL
erica: hahahaahaaa
we are mean - she was actually mental
not a cock like the rest of em
crispin: we wernt mean
erica: true - well not to their faces
crispin: jewels lady wouldn't have known if we were
she was too busy fretting about her care worker and landlord who were "shooting me all full of heroin and having sex with me"
heroin/ insulin
erica: with the amount of cake she ate she deffo had diabetes
though the pills she got out on the bus and was showing the lady in front of me were 'to stop her friend comming back'
'because they made her do bad things'
crispin: Hoot <3s mental poeoples
